As a kid, I often wanted to be someone else, someone with nice parents, someone with nice siblings. I wanted to be smart. At times I even wanted to be fashionable. I wanted a lot of things when I was a kid.

As I grew older, those desires didn’t fully disappear, they changed. I started to want to change me, not my identity, not my parents, not my siblings – me. I didn’t want to be the person people poked fun of because I didn’t know the same things they did. I didn’t want to be the person who didn’t fit in because my clothes were way out of fashion. Instead of mini skirts, I wore calf length skirts and dresses. I had a mother who dressed me in styles from when she was growing up. It was embarrassing. I wanted to be my own person.

When I left home, I started making myself over. I stepped out from the person everyone knew on the outside and started doing things I wanted to do. I went through an outward changeover. I knew who I was on the inside. I wanted the outside to match the inside. It took time. Being in a new place helped. Nobody knew the person who lived in the small town in Wisconsin. I could change like the caterpillar changes into a butterfly.

I changed so successfully, nobody knew me at home. I became ME. The one who couldn’t stand on her own growing up – the one who hid in shadows – was now the butterfly. I spread my wings and voiced the things I was passionate about without condemnation.

Back home was condemnation. In my new home, in the new me lived a passionate woman who always knew what she wanted. So, yes, the person I wanted to be is the person I became – an intelligent person not afraid of her shadow but grabbing life by the handful and pursuing my dreams.

Did you want to be someone else? Let me know in the comments below. Thanks for reading. The image belongs to me.